This is a word I know all too well - one that I've been on a personal journey with for years.
Our obsession to be perfect can be one of the biggest roadblocks in our life. This mentality of trying to obtain or maintain the standards of perfectionism is instilled in our society from social media and magazines. Message after message, like after like, follow for a follow and everyday life.
"Perfect is an idea that has no answer." - Alexi Panos
When you live in the shadows of the word perfect, you find yourself - day in and day out - in a viscous cycle of never being good enough. We compare ourselves. We avoid things. Our work that we've been putting blood, sweat, and tears into will never feel ready. There will always be one more thing that has to happen. We will never live up to those expectations. We will never find contentment at any point in our life. The only person that can stop this merry go round is yourself.
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
- Cheryl Strayed
I speak from experience. I grew up in front of the mirror dancing, critiquing my body, my dancing, and my overall appearance. I told myself if I'm not perfect, then I'm not ready and I'm not successful. What the hell did perfect even mean? It's like a scavenger hunt with no map. No buried treasure at the end. That speed bump was always there, and I was always kicking it, trying to move it, screaming at the top of my lungs to start moving forward, but to no avail. I was resisting the ebb and flow of my life, living in fear and in turn, it caused me to struggle on all levels. I didn't know myself anymore because I spent so many years trying to be something I wasn't. I was so good at accepting others and giving others praise rather than giving these things to myself.
This is your ego speaking:
I'm afraid of being seen, exposed, raw
I'm afraid of rejection
I'm afraid of someone not liking me
Criticism is bad
Failure is the end of road
Falling is bad
Disapproval is bad
Stay safe, it's better here
I don't have this
I need this or that to start
Your friend the "ego" is really good at helping you avoid your truth, magic, and purpose. Ooh is he good.
One thing that I've had to work on recently was stopping myself from being a chameleon. I try to blend into everyone else's opionions of me. If someone doesn't like you - other than discarding who you are - practice the art of staying in truth and knowing that not everyone is meant to like you, your content, or your message. That's okay.
So...what do we replace perfectionism with?
BE 100% HUMAN
NO MORE FILTERING
Turn perfectionism into excellence.
Realness. Commit to yourself. Put yourself out there, despite the disapproval of others. Focus on the vision.
OWN the person that you are.
Show up. Yes, it's scary. But not as scary as being something you're absolutely not.
It's exhausting to not be our true selves. It's like a full time job to create this facade of who we think we should be and trying to please others. This is the job we need to quit.
Quitting this will free up space for so much more possibility, connection, and love on a deeper level beyond the surface.
Be the Where's Waldo in the crowd and embrace who you are. BE SEEN.
The most beautiful thing you can share with the world is you.
We are all interconnected on a deeper level.
Human to human
Heart to heart
You serve a unique purpose.
What do you like about yourself?
This question might make you feel icky inside or seem childish.
Don't scroll past because this is where the energy is put into action.
Do it. Write out what you love on your terms. Build on it.
The choice to love yourself is always there, but you have to give yourself the chance to get there.
I'm still working on this journey one day at a time. I'm right there in the thick of it. For years, it took me swimming upstream, struggling, only to realize that I need to simply choose to let go - let go of person that the world tells me to be - and shed the layers. Come back to yourself. It's all there and it's all gorgeous.
Excellence vs. Perfection
Perfection is being right.
Excellence is being willing to be wrong.
Perfection is fear.
Excellence is taking a risk.
Perfection is anger and frustration.
Excellence is powerful.
Perfection is control.
Excellence is spontaneous.
Perfection is judgement.
Excellence is accepting.
Perfection is taking.
Excellence is giving.
Perfection is doubt.
Excellence is confidence.
Perfection is pressure.
Excellence is natural.
Perfection is the destination.
Excellence is the journey.
- Author Unknown